Gotta Start Somewhere

Whatever goes up must come down. I've tested that principle a few times. As a child, I learned about gravity by throwing toys at my sister :) As an adult, the concept has taken on a different shape through my experiences with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Actually, now that I think about it, sometimes the principle is what is down must stay down! I hate to admit it, but RA has truly affected my life. I wake up almost every morning to tears stinging my eyes as I realize the pain that has settled in my joints. It often takes me about 2 hours to really get going in the morning. I seem to tire easily and my joints ache at the end of the day, so my days are cut pretty short. Pretty pitiful isn't it? Most women my age have multiple toddlers to care for all day, rock to sleep at night, and to get out of bed in the morning. I can't even manage myself. Most mornings, my husband helps me. Chronic illness has taken a lot from me- most importantly, it has taken away the chance of a "normal life." Whatever that is.


I learned today that the way to go up is to go down. Another principle I've tested a few times, and it too has morphed over the years. To Go Down. I have to think about that for a bit. In my spiritual walk, I recall that my darkest moments have led directly to a new connection or dependence on God. To Go Down. Without the bad times, you will never appreciate the good. To Go Down. Down: A position I currently find physically difficult to get up from! Maybe I should spend less time complaining about my "down time" in the morning and more time taking advantage of my physical position. Use it to my advantage :) Perhaps, while I'm "down" with stiff joints, I could meet my God in prayer. Obviously, what I was meant to learn today was that the way to God is to meet Him on our knees in prayer. I think that is where I'll try to start. I know God will meet me where I am.

Today, I go to the Lord, praising Him for the life He gave me and the life of my husband. Today, I go to the Lord, asking nothing but to KNOW that
I am blessed;
I am loved;
I am a child of God.

Life Is Hard

This first blog is difficult for me to write because I'm not exactly sure how to get started. I am not eloquent, I am not a writer, I am not an expert. I am a woman who struggles with life's many problems. I am a woman who desires more than anything to depend on my Heavenly Father in good and bad times. I am not sure if this blog will get out to others- I am not sending the link to my family and friends. I am just going to write it and then place it in God's hands. I yield to God's will and pray for Him to "do His thing."

Sometimes, life has it's "inconveniences" that hardly even get our attention. Other times we are being hit hard from every direction; the waves are so overwhelming that all we can do is cling to the cross with all our strength. The waves come crashing around us in the form of temptation, sin, illness, fatigue, infertility, death, and despair (just to name a few). We must cling to Christ and look to God to keep us safe within the throws of the storm. But we must look up!

Personally, I have been affected by all the listed "storms." In fact, I am currently completely overwhelmed. I feel as if I am barely able to keep my head above water, and every time I come up for a breath, I get dunked underwater again.

I have noticed that the one thing that never fails to lift my spirits is every moment I spend with God. So, I have just decided to start a new Beth Moore study (my favorite!) I've chosen "Stepping Up," which is a study about the "Psalms of Ascent." If I need anything right now, it is ascent!!

I will share more of my story as I go along. Please feel free to share your story as well.